The 2011 Porsche Cayenne & Cayenne S: Mild or Spicy?

Almost due north out of Vancouver, just beyond the popular ski resort of Whistler, is a stretch of abused two-lane macadam that rises, falls, and wraps around some of the most gorgeous scenery the Pacific Northwest has to offer. Like so many other mountainous rural routes, its surface is a haphazard patchwork of asphalt repairs, potholes, frost heaves and rough macadam, all adorned with faded yellow paint that disappears beneath vast quantities of gravel in an effort to dissuade snow and ice buildup. Punishing stiffly sprung sports cars but enthralling with a dizzying array of corners, it’s a perfect impromptu test track for most vehicles; capable of challenging even the best of automobiles.

And it was here that that the Porsche Cayenne didn’t just manage, but blossomed.

All new for this year, there’s been a lot of talk about the Cayenne’s revised powerplants, lighter weight, and spry new chassis. And while Porschephiles will undoubtedly enjoy googling the various horsepower ratings, suspension settings, and options that have improved the breed’s already impressive performance for this year, its real-world performance simply isn’t quantifiable. Within the confines of Vancouver’s congested and unfriendly traffic corridors, its hulking bulk seems to shrink dramatically; it’s upright seating position and large greenhouse giving a high degree of confidence. And although the control cluster and dashboard may resemble that of something with intergalactic intentions, everything seems to fall quite easily to hand, allowing the driver to concentrate on the task at hand. In the tightest of confines, a myriad of sensors allow the big Cayenne to be stuffed into enviably small parking spaces, although the rapidly sloping prow can make negotiating the exit a little stressful.

On the recently reconstructed Sea-to-Sky highway, the smoothly modulated throttle and brakes that made city driving so pleasant prove themselves almost bottomless in their performance, with even the base V6 model surprising with a goodly amount of torque. Obviously, the V8-equipped Cayenne S was slightly hardier on the long ascents, but both gave a good account of themselves due to their well-tuned suspension systems allowing maximum momentum to be carried through the freshly paved corners with a minimum of fanfare. In fact, nearly everything the Cayenne accomplished was with a minimum of fanfare. Be it passing maneuvers or slicing through the new highway’s smooth-as-glass switchbacks, the big Porsche felt more like one of German’s high-speed trains than an sports utility vehicle. An almost complete absence of road and wind noise combined with its sublime ride made the cabin a most serene place to pass the time, and the comfortable seating and spacious interior elevated the experience even moreso.

And even as the conditions worsened, the Cayenne seemed to do the opposite. Breaking out of Whistler’s northern limits and trading the freshly paved four lanes for Duffy Lake Road’s neglected tarmac, big Porsche SUVs started to show their differences. Where the six-cylinder Cayenne preferred a more sedate pace that allowed for a relaxed cruise through the mountains, the more performance-oriented Cayenne S provided a slightly more engaging ride. However, how slight a difference the vastly more powerful model made was quite surprising. Unless prodded quite aggressively, the V8 seemed content to laze about the bottom half of the tachometer, well below the 6500 rpm required to earn the full complement of its 400 horsepower and slightly below the 3500 rpm at which it delivers its 369 pound-feet of torque. Admittedly, adjusting the various sport settings does eliminate a lot of the drivetrain’s seemingly lazy tendencies and quickens the Cayenne’s reflexes, but I simply never felt compelled to stab the required buttons.

Because, although it may be marketed as a performance-infused sports utility vehicle that is every bit as deserving of the Porsche badge on the hood, I prefer my Cayenne’s like I prefer my salsa: mild. That the entire Cayenne range, V6 included, could pin my ears back with its capacity for high-speed kilometer consumption is not under dispute... but it’s also not the impression that left me most impressed. On the contrary, it was the car’s ability to traverse any and all conditions without a single ruffling of feathers that left me with a newfound respect for what many consider to be the bastardization of the Porsche brand. Be it in Vancouver’s dense, bike-lane crazed downtown core or the backroads of British Columbia, the Cayenne never elicited the slightest of untoward noises, never crashed over a particularly rough rut, and never put a wheel wrong in the slightest of ways. In short, its composure seemed absolutely unshakeable way that gives you so much confidence in its abilities that you can’t help but consistently consider that longer scenic detour, or that road trip you’ve been meaning to take. The world wide web, online shopping, email, and social networking were all supposed to expand our world, but have instead supplanted our world… and Porsche’s Cayenne is here to give it all back.