2011 Infiniti G37 IPL: Needs Less IPL, More FUN.

It's taken BMW, Mercedes, and Audi a long time to bring their respective tuning branches known as M, AMG, and Quattro into the light. Having earned their proverbial wings on the racetracks and rally roads of Europe in the sixties, seventies, and eighties, each of these storied divisions has lent their prowess to the creation of innumerable laudable vehicles, each imbued with a certain sense of character that, although different and certainly distinct unto each vehicle, aspires to a certain Teutonic character that has defined German culture for nearly a century. Which makes the vehicle at hand all the more disconcerting. With access to the unique combination of thousands upon thousands of years' worth of storied history, one of the strongest and most unmistakable national identities on Earth, and a tradition of automotive tuning and excellence that's famous the world over, one would expect the Japanese to field some of the most potent manufacturers' specials on the planet. But, time and time again, they don't.  

Already a compelling performance coupe that's proven itself one of the most underrated cars on the market today, the Infiniti G37 really doesn't have anything to prove. Trading it's German counterparts' technological afflictions for a lusty, naturally aspirated V6 and an available six speed gearbox strapped to a well-suspended, low-slung body, it's properly fine to drive. Where German coupes take a stoic, serious stance, the G37 prefers to wriggle about; howling all the while... much to the chagrin of both your local constabulary and the rear tires. 

So one would think that the addition of more performance would indeed make an already fun car even more so. But one would be wrong. You see, there are various ways in which performance can be measured and improved, and precisely how "fun” the resultant vehicle is depends entirely upon the metrics by which it's performance is measured. Take, for example, the ultimate product of Nissan's performance division: the seemingly always-grey GTR. Indomitably, abusively, and brutally quick by any and every estimation, it is to driving pleasure as masturbation is to sex: quick and dirty, but nowhere near as fun. And although the G37 IPL hasn’t lost that much of its laissez faire, devil-may-care attitude yet, it definitely gives off the impression that the GTR’s engineers have had a hand in its creation. 

Trading the G37S’ resplendent suspension for a system that’s significantly stiffer, it controls excess body movements and roll with an iron fist; punishing your spine over rough roads with the same. Furthermore, for all the resistance offered up by the springs and shocks, the additional power and torque produced by the bolstered engine makes it a tad hairy around bends, as the taut suspension and meaty powerband work in concert to make the rear tires’ task all the more arduous. Undoubtedly, they work brilliantly over the glass-smooth racetracks it lapped in development, but it seems as if the real world is just a bit too harsh for the hard edges that have been applied beneath the car’s new IPL badge. 

It doesn’t help, too, that the design team appears to have been drinking the no-fun Kool Aid when they came up with the IPL’s body treatment. Available in just grey and black, its palette is even more bland than that offered by the GTR (that car offers red, blue, and four colour-depleted shades between white and black), and the unique styling cues of the IPL don’t exactly improve upon the G37’s good design. The front air dam is awkwardly angular and leaves an oddly sharp prow above its opening, and the side skirts project far enough from the bodysides that it’s only a matter of time before the passage of countless misplaced feet leave them gashed and scratch-ridden. Storm drain-sized exhausts are a bit boyish, and although they signify the addition of a true dual exhaust system that reportedly decreases backpressure by 30 percent over the stock y-pipe, they simply don’t improve the exhaust note by any serious margin. 

Speaking of margins, perhaps the best news is that those shopping for an IPL won’t have to pay for much of one. Costing precisely $8,000 more than the G37S coupe, the IPL may not be the measure of those from Germany bearing AMG, M, and Quattro badges, but one can hardly fault it for that when the premium it commands is a relative pittance. However, I’d make another suggestion to would-be buyers looking to spend nigh $60,000 on a two-door Infiniti G-class: take a look at the convertible. With a great combination of worksmanship, engineering prowess, and an appreciation for nature, it's probably the most quintessentially Japanese car one can buy.