Mini Cooper S Coupe: The BMW X6 of the Mini Lineup

When BMW first announced that they intended to bring the Mini brand back onto the market, there were two main sticking points for most enthusiasts: the news that the upcoming Mini Cooper would be marketed and priced as a premium compact hatchback, and the idea that one of Britain's most memorable, iconic, and brilliant cars was destined to be reborn at the hands of none other than the world's most quintessentially German firm. But, fast forward one decade, and many have forgotten their complaints. Granted, some stalwarts maintain that the new Minis still don't have a place in the canon of brilliant British cars, but the majority of enthusiasts have conceded that the application of German engineering has done nothing to diminish the brand's myth... unless you consider typically terrible British fluid retention and dubious electrics to be part of that myth. No, by pretty much every  measure anyone has cared to throw up, these new Minis are entirely worthy of the badge on their hood.  

But, for all the improvements made at the hands of Bosch and Bimmer, there's one thing that the Germans have been smart enough to leave alone: the shape. Perhaps the most important part of a Mini, they've certainly stretched it, poked it, and scaled it up to bring us the Convertible, Clubman,  and Countryman models... but they've kept the silhouette unchanged. You see, if there's one thing the British can be proud of, it's their ability to produce a pretty car. Conversely, two of the three most recognizable German brands risk spraining their creativity when they even consider moving away from acronyms for their names and numbers for their cars'. So, it's been with a high degree of intelligence that Mini's design team has continued to move down the same path that earned Alec Issigonis his knighthood. 

Which, if you use your deductive powers, would by definition make the creation of this car one of their less heraldic moments. Aptly, and oh so Germanly called the Mini Cooper Coupe (or Coopy Coupe, as it came to be known in my driveway), the latest creation of the Mini brand's brainiacs is little more than a Mini Cooper with the greenhouse ripped off, crumpled up, stomped on, and replaced. The emerging vehicle is shorter, seats just two, sports a rakish windshield angle, and trades the square-backed hatch of the standard Mini for a longer, "trunk"-inclusive hatch that does its darndest to mimic a proper three-box coupe's design. Overall, the effect is to the standard Mini Cooper as the BMW X6 is to its sibling, the X5. And just like it's bigger, badder, Bimmer-er brother, it is definitively not pretty. 

But take a step inside, and you'll find a welcome respite from the awkwardness of the exterior in the form of a surprisingly well thought-out interior. Everything below the high beltline is typical Mini, with all the same controls in all the same places operating all of the same equipment that you'd expect to find. Overhead, a somewhat oddly sculpted double-bubble headliner allows a surprising amount of headroom for both passengers, but spiders down over the occupants with what seems like two too many pillars for such a small amount of glass. Interestingly, the even-smaller-than-a-Mini's cabin feels pretty large inside, and I'd wager it's a direct result of raking the windshield back. Doing so increases the amount of glass and also moves the very thick A-pillars rearward, and as a result your field of vision seems to broaden and it doesn't feel quite so much like you're peering through a far-off porthole. Sadly, whilst vision forward is certainly improved, the rakish windshield and low roofline conspire to greatly diminish the view out any of the side windows. Likewise, the binnacles that have been formed into the rear cargo cover, and the long, but low, rear window all combine to make the rear view equally dismal.  

But, raise that hatch, and the low rear window will give way to a cargo area that was universally surprising in its size. Thanks to the revamped greenhouse, the Coopy Coupe is a much smaller car visually than its larger Cooper cousin, so it's easy to forget that underneath the sporty top lies a standard-sized Mini chassis... until you pop the trunk. Where a standard Mini would stuff a pair of rear seats and a tiny cargo space, the Coupe offers up one deep, uninterrupted cargo hold replete with pass through for longer materials. Serving to delineate the cargo space from the passenger compartment is a wall behind the front seats and a that pesky double-bubble tray that keeps prying eyes at bay when the hatch is lowered, but can be removed for larger items that require more vertical space. Speaking of which, vertical space will probably be the most crucial measurement for most would-be buyers as the low rear glass prevents truly bulky items from fitting too well. Out front, passengers can use the approximately six-inch deep shelf, complete with storage bins, that's located between the seatbacks and the cargo space's front wall to store small items like sweaters and purses. 

Under way, you'd be hard pressed to tell the Coupe from the standard Cooper, if I'm honest. I tried to avoid reading the cars spec sheet before I drove it as I wanted my impression of the car's handling to entirely unsullied by preconceived notions, but try as I might the only thing that I could really discern was an ever so slightly increased tendency towards hanging the back end out. At the conclusion of the week's test, I was finally able to credit the perceived increase in the car's hooligan quotient to the even-further-forward weight balance of the coupe, which also lends itself well to the car's ever so slightly improved acceleration times. However, neither change is dramatic enough to warrant any real discussion of the car's performance merits, at least as far as they compare with the standard Mini Cooper's. Given how well the standard Mini Cooper S drives, that's hardly a complaint. With ridiculously large handfuls of torque available at even the slightest depression of the throttle, the little car rockets down straightaways at a downright silly pace, and has little trouble navigating corners at a similar pace. Of course, underestimate that brutal power delivery, and it's quite easy to overwhelm the overworked front tires, which will result in some torque steer... but drive it properly, and you'll find it just as docile and friendly as its four-seating friends. 

Where you're liable to notice the biggest difference between Cooper S and Cooper S Coupe is the way the Coupe draws attention. When the new Mini was first released, it turned heads with enough force that you couldn't help but wonder if chiropractors notices an uptick in business. Over the years, it's commonality has led to its on-road prominence slowly diminishing, but the Coupe certainly saw the end of that trend. Be it parked in the driveway or just driving past a herd of passing pedestrians, you can't help but notice the stares, the pointing fingers, and the murmurs that accompany the Coupe's passing. Of course, the additional awkward moments that'll ensue when you'll have to tell friends that you can only drive one of them home from the pub, or when your girlfriend spends five minutes struggling to open the ridiculously heavy rear hatch will undoubtedly help distinguish the Coupe from the regular Cooper you could (and some say should) have bought. But, if you're the type that doesn't mind sacrificing a modicum of practicality at the altar of attention-grabbing visual cues but you can't quite afford an X6, this just might be the vehicle for you.