2013 Chrysler 200S: Chrysler’s Corolla?

Ah, yes. I remember it as though it were yesterday. It’s 1977 and I’m in my last year of high school. One day in geography class, a girl drops her books right next to my desk. I watch her pick them up. Just as she stands up again, I hear the teacher shout, “MORIN!” He’s glaring at me furiously. “What? I didn’t do anything!" I retort. "That’s just it," he says, "You should have done something!”

Fast-forward 35 years. I’m bringing a Chrysler 200S to a dealership after a one-week test drive. And what do I want to tell him? “You should have done something!” You see, the 200 never really did anything wrong. But it didn’t do anything right either. Let’s have a closer look.

• Also: 2015 Chrysler 200: Finally Something New!

The now-defunct Chrysler Sebring never did earn any praise from the media. A good thing or a bad thing? More bad than good, if you ask me. Despite some recalls, its boring ride and catastrophic resale value, it really wasn’t such a bad vehicle. And the more modernly styled Chrysler 200 is basically a revamped Sebring.

The 200 is a generic car designed to blend in and make as few waves as possible (whether good or bad). Its exterior lines are neither pretty nor ugly, in my view. The convertible configuration is decidedly more attractive, but since I tested it in December, I opted for the sedan instead!

Like a Lexus!

The 200’s strong point is without a doubt its supremely comfortable interior with exceptional soundproofing to block outside noise. You’d almost think you were in a Lexus. The front seats are cushy and don’t leave you feeling tired, even after a few hours of driving. The instrumentation in front of the driver is attractive, particularly at night when the white gauges are at their best. The center console, however, features some of that pale green lighting that was popular back in the day when my geography teacher was getting on my case. And speaking of colours, there is lots and lots of black inside the Chrysler 200. There are lots of storage compartments too, which pack rats like me will appreciate.

Passengers riding in back don’t have it quite as good as up front, both in terms of comfort and head and leg room. The rear bench may seat three, but it only has two headrests. In a world in which safety has become such a major concern (read: paranoia), this omission comes as a surprise (though the 200 is not the only guilty party). The seat back folds down 60/40, which is a good thing considering that the smallish 385-litre trunk is obstructed by the shock towers. Opening the trunk hood required superhuman strength; at least it did on my test vehicle.

Young heart, old body

Two different engines are offered in the 200. There’s a 2.4L four-cylinder and the same 3.6L V6 found in almost all Chrysler models (except the upcoming Viper, obviously!). On my test vehicle, the V6 worked up a sweat trying to liven up the vehicle. It’s actually a pretty powerful engine with 283 horsepower and 260 pounds-feet of torque.  As proof of its prowess, it takes just 7.3 seconds to get up to 100 km/hr. A six-speed automatic gearbox delivers the goods to the front wheels. But with that much power going to the front wheels, there’s a fairly pronounced torque effect during accelerations (you get the feeling that each of the front wheels is pulling sideways).

When my week of testing was up, the 3.6L had consumed 10.8L/100km, which is quite high. At least, it’s more than its top competitors, the Toyota Camry, Honda Accord and Hyundai Sonata.  The other engine, the 2.4, is less powerful but just as fuel hungry. Its only selling point is its lower price.

The V6 may be a hard worker, but it’s condemned to live inside a chassis designed to be comfortable, not dynamic. The suspension does a good job countering road imperfections, but when you push the machine a little harder, the shocks lose their effectiveness. At higher speeds, the front end becomes unstable, prompting you to lay off the accelerator. On corners, the vehicle holds with a certain amount of tenacity, but not quite enough conviction. But considering that almost no one buys a 200 for energetic jaunts, none of this really matters. The steering is blah and has little to report about the wheels or front suspension. Just because my test 200 bore the S badge (“S” for “Sigh”?) doesn’t mean it was sportier. The S actually represents a cosmetic package.

To be clear, the 200 – S or no S – is a good car. And it’s offered for a great price, especially with Chrysler’s generous incentives. It’s just that it doesn’t have that certain something to capture the hearts of car lovers. I guess you could say that it has no soul.