When it’s time for them to hang up their keys—for good

Care to guess what those aged 55 and over fear most after failing health? It’s neither death, nor worsening personal finances. Surprised? No, the second greatest fear of people 55 and over is the loss of their independence. So don’t expect them to voluntarily give up their driver’s licence, even if all of the signs indicate that they should no longer be getting behind the wheel.

Your elderly father is not as confident behind the wheel as he once was, seems confused in heavy traffic and is noncommittal at intersections. He has trouble maintaining his cruising speed and brakes frequently… though not always at stop signs and red lights.

For her part, your aged mother seems distracted when she drives, does not always yield when she should and is often on the receiving end of aggressive honking. She hesitates in front of road signs and is slow to react when faced with unexpected situations.

The condition of your parents’ vehicle is also telling: dents and scratches reveal collisions with the curb, the neighbours’ mailbox, the garage and perhaps even other vehicles.

And then there is the ever-growing number of traffic tickets your parents have received and the fact that they now tend to get lost in neighbourhoods they should know like the back of their hands.

These are just some of the warning signs pointing to the fact that it has become increasingly unsafe, if not dangerous, for your parents to still be driving.

Accidents vs kilometres driven—among the worst records

Although many of us are guilty of simply going through the motions when we drive, driving requires concentration and alert senses.

But your elderly parents have visibly lost part of their faculties as a result of age, medication or a degenerative disease.

No one denies that they have years, decades even, of experience behind the wheel. But they unfortunately also have to increasingly deal with age-related changes, such as vision loss, slowed reflexes, difficulty perceiving speed, distances and depth, or limited movement that is perhaps the result of arthritis or rheumatism.

According to the Canada Safety Council, senior drivers are involved in fewer collisions than the average driver. But when looking at the fatality rate of drivers 70 and over based on kilometres driven, drivers in this age group suffer the highest number of fatalities than drivers in any other age group, except 16-to-24-year-olds.

(However, new studies tend to show that the more an older driver gets behind the wheel, the lower the threat he/she poses; the act of driving regularly apparently helps him/her maintain his/her driving skills. Some studies suggest a minimum threshold of 3,000 km per year.)

And when there’s an accident, senior drivers are often the ones responsible. The issue then becomes their reflexes, their lack of interaction with other drivers or the fact that they didn’t see the pedestrian.

Or the road sign.

Or the other vehicle.

The statistics are even worse for drivers 80 and over: according to the Traffic Injury Research Foundation of Canada (TIRF), fatalities in this age group are one and a half times higher than among young people. Although TIRF attributes this to seniors’ physical frailty, it contends that “while young drivers pose a considerable threat to themselves and to other road users, senior drivers primarily pose a threat to themselves.”

A fate worse than death

All of the warning signs point to a tragedy waiting to happen and common sense would suggest that your parents should be the first to recognize them.

But it couldn’t possibly be that simple. Voluntarily giving up one’s driver’s licence is a traumatic experience that is not without harsh consequences. Remember, senior drivers fear losing their independence more than they fear... death!

Statistics Canada’s Profile of Seniors’ Transportation Habits reveals that seniors who drive are more likely to take part in social activities than those who don’t have a licence or who use other modes of transportation (e.g. public or specialized transit and taxis).

Giving up that small piece of plastic very often means a less active social life, greater dependence on others, feeling like a burden...

In the meantime   

Fortunately, your parents have other options available to them before they have to cross that bridge.

For example, your parents can drive only during the day and avoid driving in rush hour and on busy downtown streets, not to mention highways.

It’s a matter of tipping the odds in their favour. They can plan to take only routes they are familiar with and minimize on-board distractions such as the radio, cell phones, or even conversations with passengers.

Their visibility can be considerably improved by keeping their windows and windshield clean. Perhaps their vehicle is equipped with driving aids; check to make sure they haven’t turned off the back-up camera, the blind spot monitoring system or the lane change feature.

Obviously, it’d be better if your parents didn’t drive in bad weather or when they were depressed, tired or angry. They should also be aware of the adverse effects of any medication they may be taking. If their medication causes drowsiness, they should not get behind the wheel. The same goes if they’ve consumed alcohol.

To stay alert, they should constantly monitor their surroundings and regularly check their rearview mirrors, which, when equipped with a proximity mirror, can help minimize blind spots.

Most importantly, they should take advantage and familiarize themselves with other modes of transportation, such as the train, subway and bus in urban areas, and carpooling and local transportation services in more remote areas.

Family and friends are also there to help. Are your parents uncomfortable asking for such favours? Why not offer them a trade: drive them to and from their activity…in exchange for a great home-cooked meal?

There’s no need to sell your parents’ car right away. According to the CAA, “often, seniors feel more secure just knowing that the car is still there. Perhaps they believe they could drive if they had to. They might also feel more comfortable and less obligated if you and other family members drive them on errands in their own car.”

Above all, it’s important to put yourself in their shoes. Old age or illness will inevitably force all of us one day to give up driving.

Broaching the subject

Your parents’ driving situation only gets more difficult with every passing day. You’re convinced that it’s only a matter of time before they have an accident and so you decide to have “the talk.”

But what do you say? And how do you say it?

Picking the right messenger

People who broach the subject with senior drivers should be chosen not for their firm tone or their eloquence, but rather for their compassion, listening skills and, of course, credibility.

U.S. studies (Hartford and the Massachusetts Institute Technology) have shown that it’s best to have the senior driver’s spouse or doctor (in that order) speak with them, before their children, even if the latter are long grown.

The right message

The chosen messenger might leave this magazine article on the kitchen table.

A few days later, they’ll broach the subject, giving a few concrete examples: the time Dad got lost in a familiar neighbourhood; the times Mom has stepped on the accelerator instead of the brake pedal; the trouble Dad has staying in one lane; the near-miss Mom had the other day...

With a great deal of empathy, the bearer of bad news shouldn’t focus on the senior drivers’ deteriorating driving skills, but rather on their health, which is not what it used to be. This is also the perfect time to share his/her concerns about safety with his/her loved one. There’s no better time to tell them how dear they are to him/her and to talk about how devastating it would be if they injured themselves or someone else.

Anticipated responses

Negative, even hurtful responses like “Mind your own business” are highly likely.

In fact, you should expect them.

Don’t push it: let your parent digest the idea and let them make their own choices, like familiarizing themselves with other modes of transportation. A transition period will let them discover which ones suit them best.

In doing so, perhaps they’ll also see how letting someone else do the driving does wonders for their stress levels…

Hard evidence

You could also suggest seeking an objective opinion, such as that of a medical practitioner.

Or perhaps have your parent enrol in a driver refresher course, like the Canada Safety Council’s 55 Alive course. (Info: 613-739-1535, ext. 233 or www.canadasafetycouncil.org. In Quebec, the program "55 ans au volant" is proposed by l'Association québécoise des retraités du secteur public et parapublic, www.aqrp.qc.ca or 1-800-653-2747, ext. 55).

This one-day training session addresses the age-related physical changes that affect older drivers, updates participants on traffic laws and introduces them to the latest driving aids.

Most importantly, the course serves to identify and correct bad driving habits, so as to minimize the impacts of those age-related changes. “New defensive driving skills combined with experience make for much better drivers,” says the Canada Safety Council.

If you can’t get through to them...

If you can’t get through to your parent, you might consider (anonymously) notifying the provincial or territorial governing body responsible for issuing driver’s licences, which could require your parent to undergo a medical exam or perhaps take a driver’s test.

The most important thing is to prevent your loved one from causing an accident in which they or another road user could be injured or killed.

Sweeping the issue under the rug out of fear or guilt is not the way to go. “Protecting a life is more important than protecting feelings,” says the CAA.

Maintaining one’s driving privileges

Alberta, Quebec, Newfoundland, the Northwest Territories and Nunavut: drivers are required to have medical and eye exams at 75 and 80 years of age, and every other year after that. (In Yukon, medical and eye exams are required at 70 and 80, and then every year.) British Columbia: drivers are required to have medical and eye exams at 80, then every other year.

Ontario: at 80, drivers are required to have an eye exam, take a knowledge test and participate in a Group Education Session (and then, every other year). Drivers 70 and over must take a driver’s test if they have been responsible for a collision.

The other provinces have no specified requirements. In almost all provinces and territories, a doctor, a police officer or a family member can request that a senior driver have a medical or an eye exam or take a driver’s test.

The gradual—or speedy—revocation of a driver’s licence

*Source: Nadine Filion / CAA

Here are some signs that lead to the gradual - or speedy - revocation of a driver's licence.

Driver error:

- Inability to yield the right-of-way
- Confusion in heavy traffic
- Hesitation when reacting to road signs
- Inappropriate left turn
- Inability to maintain an appropriate speed
- Difficulty staying in his or her lane
- Not stopping at stop signs or red lights
- Frequently applying the brakes
- Confusing the gas pedal with the brake pedal
- Hitting the sidewalk
- Near collisions or full collisions

Mental and physical problems:

- Loss of confidence
- Slow reaction to unexpected situations
- Confusion when taking an exit
- Difficulty turning around to see clearly when backing up
- Inability to anticipate potentially dangerous situations
- Tendency to become lost in familiar places

Other indications of reduced ability:

- Scratches or dents on the car, mailbox, garage...
- More honking from other motorists
- Recently getting more traffic tickets
- Friends and family no longer willing - or allowing young children - to ride with this driver