2009 Dodge Challenger SRT8: Six Speeds Makes it Sexy

Every day, another happy car shopper leaves a dealership contented with their purchase, contentedly conducting their Civic, Corolla, or similar economy car safely down the road. So very responsible, their small displacement motors run on nothing but water, while their tailpipes emit unicorns and pixie dust. With pleasant interiors and inoffensive body styling, these little runabouts are perfect for transporting up to five Starbucks-sipping occupants expediently and comfortably down the road, without making any intrusions into their discussions of how best to go about saving the red-lipped small-breasted blue-footed squinty-eyed tufted ptarmigan indigenous to the scrubland of south eastern Alberta from the big, bad oil corporations. Cruising around the Greater Vancouver’s various cities, hordes of these practical chariots peruse the smooth macadam highways, silently passing through the scenery at a pleasant pace that’s comfortably below the speed limit so as to best enjoy the most beautiful city in the pacific northwest.

Shortly before a truly awesome fury of sight and sound pierces their practical cocoon of ecological awareness with the hammering resonance of 6.1 litres’ worth of hemispherical-headed V8. Consuming massive quantities of raw, wonderfully combustible liquid and swallowing great gulps of air inhaled through an all-too-permissive throttle body, the raw materials taken from both the earth and the atmosphere explode, almost unmuffled, assaulting the ears of any Starbucks sipping fool who, somewhere between the age of 16 and now, replaced the pure fun of driving with championing the cause of some damn ptarmigan.

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Conversely, the average Dodge Challenger SRT8 driver probably couldn’t even tell you what a ptarmigan is. Having recently been resurrected from the automotive dead, the Challenger nameplate was officially dusted off in 2008; however, 2009 will be the big breakout year for Dodge’s classic pony car. The first year of an unlimited production run, 2009 will see a plethora of new trim levels hit dealership floors, as well as a few new options, ranging from stripes to six speeds; and thankfully this one has both. Equipped with the SRT8 trim package, the test vehicle supplied mimics many of the 2008 SRT8’s tested by numerous publications last year with two important differences: First, there are three pedals beneath the driver’s feet and a modern day rendition of the pistol grip shifter under their right hand. And the second? It’s not orange. Thank God. Of course, coated in a ticket-me red with flat black trim, it’s not exactly low key. Then again, with the single loudest exhaust note I’ve experienced on a stock car and a penchant for leaving stops in a manner best defined as explosively, Challengers are about as eager to blend in as Paris Hilton.

And that is the only parallel that can be drawn between Paris Hilton and the Dodge Challenger SRT8. The Dodge is a slab of big, brawny, blue collar beauty that is unapologetically Detroit; in other words, everything that a spoiled socialite isn’t. And there really isn’t much question as to which one is fun, because with the addition of a Tremec T-56 speed transmission hijacked from the Viper program, the Challenger SRT8 finds itself transformed from the contemporary incarnation of Kowalski’s hopped-up R/T into a manic ponycar that should wear T/A nomenclature. Pouring 425 Very Good Reasons to Buy It and 420 Very Good Reasons to Invest in Goodyear into the rear differential, the Tremec handles the power well, but takes a firm hand to manipulate. Stuffed full of seven gear ratios, the six forward speeds are simply too many for the car’s massive torque output, and the result is a head-bobbing 1-2 shift at part throttle. Then again, if you try and smooth out the transition by short shifting through first, you’re rewarded with an annoying computer mandated 1-4 skip shift feature that bogs you down. The obvious work of whoever’s job it is to get the SRT8 to skate under the Environmental Protection Act standards, both of these problems are easily avoided by simply running through first to a reasonable speed before dropping it into third for a smoother ride in traffic. Take that, ptarmigan.

But, as bearish as the gearbox is in traffic, it all comes together when you introduce the skinny pedal to the carpet. First gear goes by in a rush of rubber sliding across the pavement, while the first half of second introduces some substantial acceleration as the tires slowly begin to win the fight for traction. By the time you slam third gear home, you’re exceeding most speed limits in this country. And should a corner appear on the horizon, walking the gearbox back down through the gears is easily as satisfying, as each blip of the throttle rewards with the cackle of unburned hydrocarbons meeting hot exhaust manifolds. You needn’t worry about sloshing about too much either, as the well bolstered but incredibly comfortable seats of the SRT8 are perfectly placed within the cabin. With a wide range of adjustment, they can be made to fit everyone, and even my lankly 6’1” frame had absolutely no complaints.

As far as the handling goes, the 2009 model is much of the same; with the same familiar steering and suspension that was enjoyed in 2008. However, the addition of a clutch pedal helps lighten the car on its feet, and the ability to better manhandle it through lurid, tire torturing powerslides means it may be no faster around corners than the automatic, but it’s a hell of a lot more fun.

And pure, unadulterated fun is precisely what the Challenger is all about. No, it’s not terribly practical. The back seats aren’t huge, and clambering into the driver’s side rear seat is a complete pain in the ass (the front driver’s seat not being of the tilting-forward variety), and the fuel mileage isn’t exactly stellar (although, at an observed 14.9L / 100 km, it’s not as ghastly as I’d thought), but there are few cars around that are so unrepentant. The Challenger SRT8 is a car that’s completely apathetic to the various causes and crusades of those lined up outside your local Starbucks, but park one outside your local neighbourhood hardware store and you’ll be greeted with a flurry of questions of comments. It isn’t precocious, and doesn’t tolerate fools. It is to the automotive world what Wrangler is to jeans, and you shouldn’t expect to see too many of these being valet parked outside the hippest new martini bar in town. But take a trip down a few back roads and you’ll probably spot one or two doing what Dodge Challengers have been doing since their heyday: leaving their mark in all manner of magnificently illegal ways. And if that doesn’t appeal to you, there are plenty of economy cars to choose from, and lots of ptarmigan to save.