The Un-Hot-Hatch Comparo: Volvo C30 vs. Volkwagen Rabbit vs. Mini Cooper

Select third. Trail brake ever so slightly into the turn in. Momentarily dial in some opposite lock and enjoy the rotation through the apex before introducing the throttle pedal’s backside to the floormat to exit cleanly, taking just a short glance in the rearview mirror to appreciate the glorious streaks of vulcanized rubber that mark my passing. The scent of burned rubber and hot brakes join the sonorous sound of a turbocharged small-displacement engine running down from redline; mixing gloriously with the scent of fresh cut grass and warm summer air wafting through the open window.

This is an example of what didn’t happen during this comparison. No, it was a balmy -2, and the only smells wafting into the car was exhaust from the idling Mac tractor trailer trapped in the confines of midday traffic about three feet the left. Because these are no hot hatches, these are their real-world siblings, the unsung heroes of the working class: the Volvo C30, Mini Cooper, and Volkswagen Rabbit.

Considered by many to compose the premium compact segment, these three runabouts reprise their faster siblings’ turbochargers, suspensions, and transmissions in favour of fuel mileage, practicality, and comfort. So, to test them in their element, we took them from downtown Vancouver’s bridge-borne traffic jams to backroads to the convenience store to the office and back. Joining yours truly for the trip was Managing Editor Budd Stanley and photographer Kevin Rudolph, and given the cumulative age our trio would barely net us the senior’s discount at Denny’s, it didn’t take long for the narcissist in each of us to come out: “A Volvo that actually looks good… but wasn’t there supposed to be a Volkswagen back there somewhere?” Coated in a downright Eastern Bloc shade of charcoal, the four door Rabbit we’d procured simply faded into the background beside the shapely C30 and to a lesser degree, the deep red Mini. Conversely, the interesting blue shade adorning the C30 2.4i tester did a fantastic job of showcasing every gorgeous curve and bend in the Volvo’s sheetmetal, easily giving the stylish Swede the nod for best looker of the bunch.

Climbing aboard the Mini for my first stint behind the wheel, the first thing that grabs your attention is the overall sense of seriousness, or lack thereof, expressed by the cartoonish Mini interior. A speedometer large enough to mount a moose head to dominates the center of the dash, occupying massive amounts of space while still managing to keep you unaware of your speed until you take your eyes off the road to take in the glowing orange spectacle. Below, the climate control array echoes the Mini’s winged logo in a surprisingly understated way, while a myriad of toggle switches control auxiliary lighting and window motors. These, combined with the toggle switches overhead (for sunroof operation, ambient lighting, etc etc) can make operating the Mini’s electronics a decidedly Top Gun-like experience; and that’s not at all a criticism in a car this fun to drive.

Because that’s what the Mini truly is there for. Even in base trim, the 1.6L four-pot fires up with a nice little burble, and swings the tach needle (blessedly mounted atop the steering column, although taller folks will find the top of the wheel obscures the upper half of the tachometer – sadly, the portion where the usable RPMs are) to redline with an acoustic accompaniment that sounds for all the world like a properly running classic Mini. Edging into traffic with the Volvo and VW in tow, a long slog up a hill in afternoon rush hour traffic quickly won the Mini’s easily modulated clutch some merit points, as did the very nifty brake-lock feature that keeps the Mini from rolling backward during awkward starts; especially handy when the Managing Editor is practicing his static drafting technique directly to the rear. Once we’d broken free and hit up the local twisties, the Mini instantly set itself apart; a sentiment both my cohort echoed after turns at the helm. Although the engine lacks the flexibility of the two five cylinders found in the Volvo and Volkswagen, the Mini’s chassis and steering is far and away the best of the trio. Truly the driver’s car, the little Mini rewarded commitment with trail-braking predictability that belied its short wheelbase, and the motor, although the least powerful, gave a solid effort near the top of the tachometer. Editor Stanley, being both a Mini fanatic and rally driver preferred the most stiffly sprung and demanding car of the lot, but with a base price of just $24,800, there was no disagreement that the tiny hatchback, almost nonexistent rear seating, and questionable ergonomics and interior choices means that for the purposes of this test, the Mini scored poorly in the heavily-weighted practicality portion of the exam.

And that’s an opinion that was only cemented upon my entry into the next car of the trifecta; the Volkswagen Rabbit. The cheapest of the lot, it immediately garnered favour for its excellent powertrain. With a warbling 2.5L five cylinder under the hood, the Rabbit was the very model of forgiving, allowing the driver to shove it second and third on corners that would have had a Mini pilot doing his best Riverdance impression on the pedals. Likewise, the Volkwagen’s longer wheelbase, wider track, and fatter tires also gave it a far more neutral cornering attitude, preferring instead to reward smooth fast driving with a thoroughly planted stance. Of course, with the tallest tires and softest suspension, moving weight around on the contact patches was as easy as pie, and while the VW certainly didn’t have the nimble throw-it-in-and-catch-it-on-the-way-out feeling the Mini’s fast steering rack and firmer suspension imbued, tightening the line mid-corner to correct for some understeer could still upset the tail in a gloriously irresponsible fashion. Inside, the typically monochromatic interior was a welcome change from the Mini’s hectic styling, and the combination of clearly labeled, easy to use controls also meant a vastly shorter acclimatization period. A huge range of seat and pedal adjustment also deserves notice, as does the largest hatch of the trio with the lowest, widest sill. Resident shutterbug Rudolph immediately took a shine to the stalwart product of his home nation, choosing to pick up upon the literally flawless drivetrain, raving about everything from the offbeat and very audible engine note to the light, linear clutch and positive shifter feedback. Furthermore, being the photographer of the trio, he also appreciated having the most cavernous interior to house the various tools of his trade. And with a base price of just over $19,975, the little Rabbit is a relative bargain basement Berliner, offering eight or nine tenths the capability of either other car here for a lot less dough.

Which brings us to final installment in our quaint trio; the Volvo. Having been called a self-absorbed narcissist myself, it started out a notch or two above its stablemates by virtue of being by far the prettiest. Settling in, the deep carpet, soft seating, and excellent tactile responses offered by the interior’s various fabrics and surfaces immediately set it apart from the previous two. With a level of interior fit and finish more in line with something from BMW or Audi, the Volvo’s light steering, low effort shifter, and impeccably smooth suspension make this by far the most luxurious choice. Nipping at the Volksawagen’s heels for most useful interior as well, the boat-shaped, glass-hatched C30 got points for feeling like a much larger car in both front and rear seats; the latter of which provided a surprising level of legroom by virtue of the deep, long seat bottom. Unfortunately, a small, barrel-shaped hatch opening and the glass “break-me-and-steal-what’s-inside” back hatch detracted from the Volvo’s practicality score, but with a willing engine nearly equal to the Volkswagen’s and a suspension that’s easily as luxurious as the Mini’s is sporting, it’s hard not to enjoy time inside the C30. What it lacks in playfulness it more than matches in magnificent comfort.

So, although it may be the least playful of the trio, the Volvo eventually got the nod as the best of the bunch. Simply providing more car than either of the other two, it’s gorgeous to look at, gorgeous to sit in, and relaxing to drive. And given these are not the performance-oriented models of their respective nameplates, it’s impossible to ignore the Volvo’s Lexus-like ability to transport its occupants in superior comfort. But of course, all this refinement comes with a price, and that price is $27,495. Initially shocking, the Volkswagen’s jack-of-all-trades attitude and very reasonable MSRP had almost won it this contest, however, with a lengthy list of standard features, the gap between the base Volvo and similarly equipped Rabbit is diminished, garnering a very solid (and almost too close to call) second place. Finally, the rambunctious and playful Mini comes in at third as a solid performer that offers an almost frantic experience that’s just a hairs-breadth from that offered up by its seriously fast turbocharged brother, the Mini Cooper S. As such, it definitely gets the driver’s nod, but on a cold, windy, and generally miserable day in Vancouver, there’s simply no getting around the Volvo’s occupant-friendly and super comfortable interior and refined engineering.

And did we mention it was pretty?