2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT: Throwing Down The Glove

Let’s get this out of the way: no one needs a nearly-500 horsepower sport-utility vehicle. But that doesn’t mean that people don’t WANT one. Or, more specifically, that I don’t want one.  The 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT is a people mover that courts absurdity with its phenomenal engine output, its unreasonably sticky handling, and its Darth Vader looks.  It’s also an SUV that is perfectly happy to idle along at street legal speeds and help you take care of business on a daily basis with a startling dose of all-weather practicality.

A muscle truck that’s not afraid to get its hands dirty?  That’s right – this SRT model earns its keep, and it does so at a price that is several postal codes removed from the eye-bleed MSRPs of its European high performance competitors.

• Also: 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee EcoDiesel: Near-Luxury Efficiency
• Also: 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT: Track-Driving The Monster

A Wolf in Wolf’s Clothing

Jeep has treated the 2014 edition of the Grand Cherokee SRT to a subtle, yet effective restyling regimen, and the effort has paid off in spades.  During my week with the SUV, I was regularly complimented on its aggressive, malevolent looks.  With a chopped grille and matching shorter headlights up front, combined with details like LED running lights and the subtle ‘Since 1941’ etched into the driver’s side lens, the SRT stands apart from last year’s model.  The black-on-black-on-black attitude of my test vehicle, combined with its lower ride height, enormous 20-inch blacked chrome rims, and its aero package, made the Jeep impossible to ignore even when simply puttering around town.

Gorgeous Interior Trappings

Still more attention has been paid to sprucing up the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT’s passenger compartment, which finally provides buyers with world class presentation to go with its white-knuckle driving experience.  Ultra-supportive leather seats coddle passengers up front, while a reclining rear bench offers those riding in the second row a substantial amount of space.  The one miss-step is the vehicle's stubby console-mounted shifter, which makes it difficult to shift from Drive to Reverse - or even Park to Reverse - without paying very close attention to the subtle détentes that indicate a gear has been selected.

Jeep has installed its next-generation Uconnect touchscreen interface, which boasts an excellent navigation system as well as one of the most intuitive – and loudest – entertainment systems in its class.  A small TFT screen located in the gauge cluster provides a host of useful vehicle information, including an entire suite of performance-tracking features that can time 0-100 km/h runs, take note of braking distances, and track g-forces across all four axis.

Canadians Left In The Cold

I was very disappointed to find out, however, that the Performance Pages app that had been demonstrated to us at the SRT model’s launch just a few months before was not available to Canadian buyers.  Performance Pages is a versatile application that uses the vehicle’s large center LCD screen to display auxiliary gauges, horsepower and torque output, as well as additional performance stats and figures, and it even allows you to upload your achievements to the web.  I can think of no compelling reason as to why Canadian SRT owners have been left out of the Performance Pages party, and even when I took the Jeep to an American dealership to have the app installed, I was told it was impossible – so it looks like there’s currently no work-around in sight.

Enormously Powerful

The centerpieces of the 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT are the 6.4-liter Hemi V8 engine under its hood and the full-time four-wheel drive system that manages its phenomenal output.  With 470 horsepower and 465 lb-ft of torque on tap, its clear that the vehicle’s drivetrain is under massive stress every time the go-pedal is mashed to the floor, but given the five four-wheel drive settings on hand (Auto, Sport, Track, Snow, and Tow) the Grand Cherokee SRT is more than capable of getting the power down without any hint of wheel spin.  In fact, a new-for-2014 launch control feature (accessed via a console-mounted button) ensures disappointingly drama-free sprints to 100 km/h, with my best time coming in somewhere around the 5.5 second mark - about a half second slower than the Jeep is capable of under ideal conditions.

Perhaps more important than its facilitation of rapid acceleration is the four-wheel drive's surefootedness on slippery roads.  I piloted the SRT through several severe rain storms during my time with the vehicle, and not once did the Jeep evince a hint of oversteer or wheel spin.  For a 470 horsepower ride, this is incredible, and it hints at the four-season potential inherent in the platform.  Fuel economy over the course of 2,000 kilometres of mostly highway driving was also impressive, checking in at 12.1 l/100 km - not bad for such a heavy, muscled-up beast.  The key to the Grand Cherokee SRT's efficiency is its new eight-speed automatic transmission, which not only slows down the rate at which it drinks fuel but also dramatically improves the smoothness of the vehicle whether tromping hard on the gas or simply cruising to the mall.

No-Compromise Practicality

The 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT is an addition without subtraction proposition.  Take the extremely useful cargo space and rough weather capabilities of the standard Grand Cherokee, add gobs of horsepower and a slick leather jacket, and what you end up with is an astonishingly quick SUV that can still haul a heavy load at the end of the day (up to 3,300 kilos of trailer weight) in absolute style.  Don't think that the SRT's suspension has been tuned to deliver ultimate handling with no thought of daily comfort, either, as the Jeep's stiffer-than-normal shocks are well suited for errand running without sacrificing comfort.

If you can handle the Grand Cherokee SRT's desire to gulp down fuel around town at a faster rate than its line-up mates - and if you are willing to pay $70,000 for a Jeep - then you'll be pleasantly surprised by what this SUV stud has to offer.  Browse BMW, Mercedes-Benz, or Land Rover's websites to see just how much it would cost you to get the same level of performance with a traditional luxury badge on the hood, and you'll be even more excited by what Jeep has been able to accomplish with this vehicle.  Did I just compare the Jeep to M and AMG variants of its German rival sport-utility vehicles?  Yes I did - and it's a cross-shop that Euro marques will have to get used to as word gets out about the 2014 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT.